100 Day Follow-Up

Hey Friends,

I've been feeling like now that my 100 Days are up, I can technically eat or drink whatever I want, although I haven't really been interested in changing my diet. I did feel like a rebel badass ordering a diet coke last night, which obviously tells you just how tame I am. Nice girls for the win.

It was so sweet and delicious. But since I'm pretty sure diet coke is cancer in a bottle, this will not be a regular thing.

There is something I want to clarify from my last blog post. I wrote that I feel healed and like I've broken away from my emotional eating binges and cycles, and that is true. What I want to make clear, though, is that although my behavior has changed, a lot of my thoughts are still the same. The difference is that I don't act on them anymore. So it's not that I all of a sudden love my body one hundred percent of the time or feel confident and healthy at every moment. Actually, this past weekend, my "you should go on a diet" voice was ever present and I had to work really hard not to listen to it. I let it be there, I acknowledged it's presence, and then I did nothing. And that is the real change that these 100 days have given me. The thoughts are still there, I just don't give in to them.

I don't want to be one of those people who swears that BOOM! YOU CAN BE DONE WITH ALL THIS FOOD/BODY DRAMA FOR GOOD! because that is not what my experience has been. This truly is a process of recovery, and I'm still very much in it.

Next topic: I'm still going back and forth about eating frozen yogurt. And last night as I drifted off to sleep I was dreaming of cheese. Literally.

I have a few fears and hesitations about going from vegan to vegetarian. The main one is that if I do start eating some dairy, I can no longer say I'm a vegan and then people might serve me cheesy things that I don't really want to eat. The control freak in me would die.

The other concern is that I may get sick. After no animal products in my body for over three months, I'm a little scared of what a milk product would do to my stomach.

I'm sure I'll figure these things out along the way...just wanted to share where I'm at with my readers.