You know when you think you're over something, past it, healed, and then BOOM all your old shit is suddenly in your face again? That is what the past 7 days have been like for me. Big UGH.
Here's what I think happened: I got lazy. I got through the initial changes of this new way of eating, lost weight, felt better, and then I stopped doing a lot of the things that brought me to this better feeling state in the first place. I lost my momentum. For example: eating in solitude, without distraction, and chewing slowly. I haven't done it since the first few weeks of this blog. Oops.
Why is the upkeep so challenging? I think it's part of human nature. It's hard to constantly be in the fire, always strong and always committed. Willpower is finite, and exhaustion happens. The task then becomes to allow these little hiccups to be seen as just that: hiccups. I am not a failure just because I overate one night this week. (My inner critic wants me to think I am, and that I'm a disgrace to my blog, but she's wrong). Now that I feel like I'm moving in the right direction again, I remember why I made the choice to do this project in the first place: because when I eat foods that I know won't trigger me, I can stop thinking about food and my body all the time. I have more space to just be. And what a breath of fresh air that is.
Thank you to everyone this week who reminded me that most of the stories I have going on in my head are nonsense. I can be so serious sometimes, and your love and lightness reminded me that I'm allowed to go easy on myself.
Happy Wednesday, everyone! :)
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