Awakening

I need something to hold me accountable. I need a challenge. I need a goal, a project, something to work towards.

I just finished a 7 day vegan cleanse that rocked my world. For 7 days, I put my faith in eating whole, unprocessed, vegan food, and what happened was pretty fucking interesting. Yes I lost a few pounds. Yes I felt healthy and my mood was better. And yes I ate some really delicious food (that I cooked!). But none of that compares with what happened to my mind. See, I usually spend most of my day worrying about how fat I look, how gross I feel, how much skinner everyone else is, how much I weigh, etc. But during these 7 days, I felt so good about what I was putting into my body that I didn't have to think about any of that. I got a break from all of my usual food thinking patterns, and it was amazing.

But then the cleanse ended. And I went back to eating crap and feeling like crap too. Suddenly I am self-conscious again, and the freedom to feel good about myself is gone. And then I realized: food is not the problem. I am the problem. I cannot handle certain foods the way that alcoholics cannot handle alcohol. I need to abstain, because moderation doesn't work for me. It never has.

So, this blog is about my new challenge, inspired by my friend Holly: 100 Days. 100 Days of no sugar, all vegan, all unprocessed food. Tomorrow is Day 1. Let the journey begin.