Day Six: Breaking Down Limiting Beliefs

Over the summer, my therapist suggested that I begin writing down my negative thought patterns when I saw them arise. And, to no surprise, many of them were triggered by food. One particularly enlightening (and embarrassing) thought pattern was revealed to me when I was getting ready to go to a potluck girl's night with some of my yoga peeps.

This is exactly what I wrote down:

On not bringing something homemade to girl's night...

- I'm not as good as everyone else

- I'm lazy

- People won't like me as much as they would if I baked something myself

- I'm not going to be a good wife because I don't cook

- Men won't like me because of this and they'll be disappointed

Um...WHAT?!?!

Amazing what I unearthed, isn't it?

Of course I can't get away with writing a blog on food and my feelings and not discuss all of the man, woman, and relationship beliefs that I have (although I was really hoping to...). I didn't even realize this was a thought pattern affecting me until I took time to write it out. And then there it was, staring me in the face. As my hero Kris Carr would say, it was a "needle off the record moment."

This is scary to share in such a public forum, but I know that I'm not the only woman out there who, after all the yoga, therapy, self-exploration, and journaling, has some kind of fucked-up belief system around men and not being "good enough." The day that I wrote these thoughts down and uncovered them, it was terrifying. But now that I see them for what they are: just thoughts, and I know I can choose another thought instead. These kinds of beliefs might always be present, consciously or unconsciously, and the point is not to get rid of them. I don't think I would win that fight anyways. The point is to notice them and then not be controlled by them. It's the same way in which I know that if I eat certain foods, I will be triggered to binge, self-hate, and move away from my own inner light. The thoughts will always be there, the foods will always be available, but I don't have to participate anymore.

I challenge you: The next time you notice a feeling of dread, unease, or anxiety, write it down. I bet you'll be amazed at what's really underneath the surface.