Sunday and Monday found me in full-on winter blues mode, but the sun came back yesterday and so did my good mood and attitude.
On Monday I did a lot of reflecting on the past 36 (!) days, and what I spent the most time contemplating is how some days it is so easy to just notice my thoughts, let them be, and move on, yet other days it is so challenging. It's all a practice, I suppose, and I have to remember that there will be days that for whatever reason, I just can't do it. I just can't stay peaceful and zen and be the calm in the center of the storm. Some days I'm going to get lost in all the irrational thoughts. So instead, I'm trying to make peace with that. Rather than expect myself to respond perfectly every time, I need to learn that sometimes I will just react, and that's ok. It's not the end of the world and it doesn't cancel out any of the times in which I do respond mindfully.
What I am enjoying the most about this practice is noticing that even if negative thought patterns do arise, I don't have to take action and participate. As Margaret Cho says in the last video I posted, "I can pull myself out of the game." The game is still happening; it will always be happening, actually. But I don't have to play. And that is what this is all about anyways; it's about knowing that the thoughts, the craziness of my mind and of this world is going to go on and on, but it can go on without me. I don't have to get caught up in it.
And when I do...oh well. Then the practice shifts to become about acceptance, to remembering that perfection is not a real place, but just another figment of my imagination. I'll leave you with my current mantra, originally said by Carl Jung: "Perfection is the enemy of the good."
I hope everyone has a beautiful and totally imperfect day :)
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